“The Full Moon Party, hmm, what can I say about this? The city is packed with a bunch of drunk, stoned, tripping, rolling, or all of the above, locals and foreigners. Everyone there is raving and covered from head to toe with glow in the dark paint. They dance to hypnotizing electronic music and half-naked women walk around in wet T-shirts. The scenery is also beautiful; all this takes place on a gorgeous tropical island in the middle of the Gulf of Thailand. It’s the party of a lifetime. Actually, my friend, it’s heaven!”

These were the words of a Frenchman I met at a New York City bar in the winter of  2008. He continued while writing on a piece of paper, “If you go, stay at this hostel and ask for Marion. She’ll give you everything you need and has the best hashish on the island. Enjoy my friend.” I kept the paper until arriving in Thailand.

My friend Chris and I just had to go. We needed to escape our pathetic jobs and enter a new world on Thailand’s Ko Phangan Island under the full moon. Escape everything- douche bag co-workers, the harsh winter of New York, massive concrete skyscrapers and never ending sunless days. A month later, we were on the flight to Bangkok.

It was our first time in Thailand. We were amazed by the energy radiating off the city’s blocks: The smell of street vendors flipping Pad Thai off the grill, sounds of pulsating music blaring from numerous loud speakers, the feel of humidity rubbing your skin and sight of huge Buddhist Temples and golden stupas towering into the heavens made our senses ring like an alarm clock at 5am. We were pumped, energized and ready to party. And party we did.

The first two nights on Bangkok’s famous Koh San Road were a shit show to say the least. We drank buckets of Thai whisky and large  bottles of Chiang beer. We shagged European chicks for free one night and Thai girls for a price the following. We roamed the streets until the wee hours of morning and watched the sun appear twice. We were exhausted after two days of this mayhem. Luckily, we had a rest night on the overnight train heading south on our third night.

Day four- Arrival in Koh Phangan. The tul tuk (Thai taxi) dropped us off at the address my French friend wrote for me. “Hello, do you have a room for the night?” I questioned a guy passed out on a hammock between two bungalows. “Yes Yes,” he responded with a thick accent, but only AC room. Only 800 Baht [about 30 bucks] per night.”

Problem- 30 bucks per night was way too much for our weak salaries. “What do we do? I asked Chris. “We can’t afford this!” My friend responded, “Ask for the chick that French dude told you about, maybe she’ll give you a discount?”

I continued speaking, “Hey, can I speak to Marion?”

“Marion!?” He said in astonishment.

“Yes,” I affirmed, “Marion.”

The lanky man looked at me with untrusting eyes and removed his hands from behind his head to push is body up out of the hammock, revealing a large Indian chief head tattoo on his right bicep. “One moment,” he said.

Tik, tok, tik, tok, tik, tok, tik, tok

He returned with good news. “OK boys,” you will sleep in the house for 5 bucks each a night. Deal?”

“Deal!” We shouted. The lanky Thai guy led us to the house. It was a wooden square room with a large bed, a couch and connected bathroom next door. In fact, it was nicer, more spacious and cleaner than the room with air con. Was “Marion” a code to stay in the house? Was this the secret password? What just happened?

We didn’t think about it for too long, mainly due to our stomach’s call for food. We threw our belongings on the floor and went immediately to the restaurant wedged between a few bungalows and the beach. Plates of spicy green curry, Thai fried rice and beer were bought to the table, allowing us to feast for the first time in nearly 24 hours. Upon finishing, our friend (the same lanky employee) appeared and offered us a magic mushroom shake for dessert. I thought to myself, Wow, ‘Marion’ is definitely a code! The house, fantastic food, mushroom shake. This is Marion! I found Marion!

Apart from finally “meeting” Marion, I couldn’t believe how cool the Thai employee was. Almost, yes, I hate to say it, too good to be true. (Actually, it was too good to be true, because little did I know, this same man would soon become my worst enemy 48 hours later…

We chugged the dark purple chunky liquid and decided to take a stroll down the beach and wait for the mescaline to kick in. Twenty minutes later, nothing. Forty, nope. Sixty, not a thing. "Fuck! Did we get ripped off?" I said silently to myself.

A little disappointed, we walked to a sandbar about 30 yards out into the sparkling ocean and sat, waiting in desperation for our trip. Suddenly, we started giggling. Then laughing. The cracking up! What was so funny? Absolutely nothing. The shrooms were kicking in! That’s enough to make everything and anything an episode of Saturday Night Live.

We noticed our surroundings morphing: In the clouds, fire breathing dragons, gigantic ants, and alligators with pony tails flew around freely like birds. The vast ocean turned bright aqua with glimmers of shiny sparkles, almost as if there were silver coins scattered on the surface. The stretch of beach was glowing white like a long fluorescent light bulb (similar to the ones hanging over my head at my cubical). Lush jungle vegetation covering the mountains appeared as if it were in a Disney flick. Enigma Volume II music filled our ears from the slow waves caressing the shore line. We were tripping sack and enjoying every minute of it. Everything was so peaceful, so alive, so bizarre. It felt wonderful!

Finally, the shrooms began to wear off, so we returned to drink another two magic shakes and down a bottle of Thai whisky. The hard trip revived itself instantly, but we felt weak and hunted for some food. Luckily, on a stroll down the main avenue, after passing (no exaggeration) 30 whore houses, we spotted a street vendor selling plates of delicious Thai delicacies- cockroaches, worms, crickets and an array of other insects.

Then, “Mama, Mama!” A little Thai girl screamed as she went running to the counter. She was begging to get her hands on those treats. Mama, not being able to resist her young daughter’s request, reached for her wallet.

Funny, in my country, I used to beg my mom for M&Ms and Skittles. Here, in Thailand, kids beg for roaches and worms...

Chris and I looked at the platter of insects, and, due to our altered states, couldn’t quite tell if they were moving or not. Finally, after much contemplation, we came to the conclusion that the insects were dead and not twitching sporadically. I also came to another conclusion- the feeling of wanting to vomit at the site of a man crunching down of a 4 inch, big, black, thick and juicy cockroach!

Day 5- The moment we’d all been waiting for, the full moon. We started off in the restaurant of our bungalow with a few beers, speaking about how much fun would take place that night. While Chris was in the bathroom, I glanced at the table next to me and noticed a pretty fine looking girl with dark red hair. We made eye contact, then quickly redirected our sights to another direction. The ole eye game, the oldest trick in the book.

Soon, the skinny Thai employee with the chief tattoo approached us and offered us some ecstasy for the night. Deal! He continued his rounds to other tables making offerings like a priest during communion. At that moment I knew it was going to be one hell of a night.
All of us drinking in the restaurant struck up a conversation, giving me the perfect opportunity to introduce myself to the red head.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Cindy,” She said with a slight British accent. Cindy told me that she was from the UKand had been tripping shrooms all day. She’d been traveling Southeast Asia for some time now and was ready to pop her pill of E for the big night! Her bright green eyes illuminated upon saying those words. I told her my story and slyly said that I too was equally ready. We popped our tablets and took off in the tuk tuk with a crowd of other party goers.

Next thing we knew, Chris, Cindy, the lanky drug dealing employee and some others from our bungalow were all on the beach, rolling, raving, dancing, drinking, yelling smoking, swimming and laughing. The music blasted like a volcano through the speakers filling the air with complete ecstasy (literally) while the other 20,000 people attending the party on the beach followed suite. Cindy and I began dancing and getting close. A small kiss here, a peck there. However, when she turned her back to talk to her friends, a hand reached out and grabbed my arm. It was the Thai employee from the bungalows. “Hey man,” he said seriously, “that my girl, no mess with my girl. She mine!”

Cindy returned so I asked her what the deal with her and the employee were. She denied it, saying it was ridiculous. “How could that be?” raising her British accent up a tone, “I’ve only been in the bungalow for two days! He’s crazy. Beside, I want you!”

I was faced with a major dilemma. Bro’s before hoe’s or a sex with a gorgeous red head rolling E on a tropical beach under the full moon in Thailand. I told Chris the situation. He said it was a horrible idea, but knew he couldn’t stop me. “He’s been starring you two down the entire night. You don’t want to start shit with a drug dealer, especially one that sold you drugs, in a foreign country. Maybe he’ll turn you in? Or maybe he’s got a crew that’ll kick your ass? It’s not worth it.”

Of course, I didn’t listen. “Chris,” I replied, “I’ll be back in half an hour. Occupy homeboy for as much as possible. Here’s a few bucks, go buy him a drink.”

Cindy and I snuck off from the crowd and made our way up into the jungle, away from anyone to see. We started hooking up between several large trees then fell to the ground in the midst of removing all clothing. No need for more details, I think you can use your imagination.

We returned to our crew, separate of course, with out a soul noticing a thing. We stayed clear from each other the rest of the night just to deflate any suspicion from the psycho stalker. Soon, the sun started to peak over the ocean while the moon faded off into the horizon; causing the light to unfolded the mess in front of us: Some humans passed out, some still dancing to the beats and others hunched over gazing off into another universe. Unfortunately, broken bottles, cigarette butts and trash also covered the magnificent sand along with human bodies.

The party was over, but this story isn’t. In fact, this is when things began to get real fucked up.

Sleep wasn’t so easy. So, Cindy and I decided to drink another mushroom shake for breakfast. We chugged the grotesque liquid, bringing on a strong trip. My world started spinning with orange streaks, confusing lights and loud beeps while a streak of euphoria ripped through my body. Cindy’s green eyes, red hair and tan skin glowed, making her resemble an oil painting from the 19th century. I didn’t know what was going through her mind, but I didn’t need to. We both looked at each other and knew we had to go for round two. Off into the house (my room) we went. Again, use your imagination. After, she left and went back to her bungalow to sleep.

I woke up after a quick nap to go meet Chris outside on the hammock but was intercepted by the lanky drug dealing employee. I was still tripping, rolling a bit, and drunk. Basically, I was still fucked up. His face was full of anger, I knew something was wrong. “My friend,” he said with anger, “did you do something bad?”

“What are you talking about?” I responded.

“I think you did something bad. Where did you sleep?”

”In my room.”

“With who?”

“By myself.”

“Are you lying to me? Don’t lie to me!”

Paranoia mixed with the drugs, creating an uneasy and strange feeling in my body. I then began tripping very, very hard. I looked at his right arm seeing the tattoo of the Indian chief staring me in the eyes. The Chief looked vicious, as if he were ready for war with another tribe. The Chief, in my chemical soaked mind, then took control of the conversation. He was now in charge. It was intimidating, no, horrifying! “No! calm down! I’m not lying,” I responded to the Chief.

The Chief personified and began to move. He shook his head in disbelief, causing his head dress full of feathers to shake tremendously. He then removed a tomahawk, touching the stone blade with his left thumb testing the sharpness. He spoke with a Native American accent, “If the heavens reveal your truth invalid, you will be scalped!” He continued starring me down, nodding his head and rubbing the blade. He wanted blood. He wanted me dead, revenge for stealing a maiden of his tribe while being a guest in his village. Flames ignited in his eyes while the feathers in his headdress morphed into serpents, looking like a crazed Indian Chief-Medusa.

My world was spinning faster than a merry-go-round and I lost complete touch with reality. Everything seemed to be colored making the world resemble a Japanese cartoon. I'd officially lost it. With instinct kicking in, I took off, panicking in my drug induced paranoia. I went running to Chris.

“Chris! Wake up man!” I said while pushing him up from the hammock. “We must leave, now! The chief wants to scalp me!”

“What tha fuck are you talking about! Go to sleep!” He shouted while turning back over on his side.

“No, I’m serious, we gotta leave. If not, he’ll get you too! Please, listen!” I explained the story and I could see fear’s whip lashing Chris as well. He responded, “ I knew this shit was going to happen. That guy’s crazy, you should have heard some of the shit that was coming out of his mouth last night.”

We agreed it was best to run-away from danger. Pick your battles wisely and retreat when victory is impossible. And victory this day, under these circumstances, on the enemy’s home field was more than impossible. We grabbed our bags, left the money for the room on the bed and took off down the road. We knew there’d be no hostel rooms available, nor could we afford anything higher priced than a hostel. We concluded that it’d be best to call the beach home that night, then wake up early the next morning and take the ferry back to the mainland and catch the next train to Bangkok.

We lay on the beach that night, watching the stars sparkle in the night sky whilst coming down off a two day binge. For anyone who knows this feeling, it’s painful and depressing. You sink in a dark hole and never want to come out. I kept thinking how would this crazy story end? Were the drug dealer and Chief searching for us? Were my friend and I alright? Was Cindy safe? Was I jumping to conclusions? Was I permanently fucked up and paranoid for life after this insane week in Thailand? So many thoughts tangled in my mind’s web.

We awoke upon the first rays of dawn and left for the ferry. We bought our tickets and stood in line. The guard ripped off the stubs and handed them both back to Chris. Chris then froze like a statue staring past my shoulder, saying, “Oh my God! He’s here!”

I turned around and saw the lanky employee walking toward us. By now, I was a bit sober, so the Chief was now just a tattoo, a mere splotch of ink on his arm. The Thai man stopped a yard in front of us and reached into his pocket. I was so frightened I couldn’t move; I just kept staring at him. Slowly, he revealed a shiny silver object. He pulled it out while the suns rays reflected into my eyes, causing a burning sensation in my cornea.

“Your IPod, here,” The employee said calmly. Chris responded, “Oh shit, that’s mine! I must have left it in the bungalow! Thanks.” The lanky man continued, “You boys leave so fast. Guest always leave things during Full Moon Party, I think you farang (foreigners) do too much drugs and forget things. Have nice plane to America, come back to Thailand! Goodbye!” He walked away peacefully and jumped back on his motorbike, leaving my life forever.